Let It All Go

Best piece of advice I have received this year: "Keep it pushin..." from my best friend Chantal. By listening to her, I was able to end the mental/emotional slavery I had willingly suscepted myself to for 4 years. These are some lessons I learned by doing so....

Some people are no good for you
I once thought that patience was more important than listening to your conscience. Sometimes I wish I never met certain people. Sometimes I wish I never stepped into certain situations. Every girl goes through it. You think you can change a guy. No matter how much you hear from others that you cannot, you think your situation is different. Well, I don't know about yours but mine situations were not "special." Some people are no good for you. Pay attention to the clues. Especially the blatant ones. (i.e. I just realized, if a 5'2'' female "attacks" your inebriated 6'4'' dude's neck, odds are he LET her have access, as in he was within her reach. I can barely reach his neck when he is standing haha...how naive was I?). Also, there comes a time when the no title thing becomes old and worn out. Pack it up and keep it pushin....


Never compromise yourself to please another
This is a big one. Over the course of my undergrad, I changed so much to appeal to my love interests that I totally lost myself in the process. Constant criticism, low self-esteem, bad habits....you name it, I fell victim. By the time I graduated, and arrived back in Cali, I was so lost. Who was I? Who had I become? Luckily, it only took the summer for me to get back on track. Moving up to the bay with my sis and grinding it out on MCAT was the smartest, most disciplined step I have ever taken. I was focused on finding myself. I exited a miserable relationship in the process and although it was difficult, in the end I had never been happier. You really begin to love someone when they accept you for who you are and you accept them for who they are. I once had someone try to be "perfect" in order to please me....like they were doing me a favor...that didn't last very long. If you are naturally an ass, then dude, just be an ass. Don't go Dr. Jeckel on people. Change to better yourself and if you can't change your negative attributes and you know that's the best thing for the relationshp, let it go....


Sometimes the only positive thing one can get out of being in a relationship is actually getting out of the relationship
This came to me today actually. I've been in situations in which I was stucl like glue. I knew throughout most of the time that they were not ideal situations. However, I thought waiting for a change to occur was the best thing to do. Sometimes the changes came, but they were so short lived. I was sad 75% of the time. Who needs that? Again, let it go....

Sometimes being in love is an overstatement
I've realized I have only really been in love and in a real relationship once in my life in high school. I define them as so: both people love or care about eachother equally and decide to be together on mutual grounds. There is no pressure for titles nor does anyone ever feel used. Each wants what is best for the other and is truly committed. No one has to sacrifice any part of themselves in order to be with one another. Each person respects the other...respect doesn't need to be defined...it is naturally understood. So...those other things...just school house rock stuff. Thanks anyways....

Some people need to be cut off...PERIOD
I don't ever want to make anyone uncomfortable in regards to having male friends. I never took this statement as serious as I have now. I deleted everything that reminds me or anyone else of my past relationships. I mean why hold on to the pain when you can do everything in your power to forget and move on? No need to keep all those sad and dreary Word documents in which I poured my heart out about how horribly they made me feel. Let it go. No need to keep those pictures of us cuddling...Let it go. No need to keep those itunes playlist that reflect your emotional state during the relationships. LET IT ALL GO.....it is so necessary. Do it in order to make room for the new possibilities/blessings that God will bless you with. Do it to let your new love interests know you are ready for this. Do it to truly accept this breath of fresh air. Do it even if you are single. You will be surprised how much weight these shackles add to your life. Oh and one more thing...stop speaking to those you have dated in the past. Seriously. There's no need to speak or text everyday. That's how you get mixed up and confused. Do yourself a favor and cease contact until YOU are ready. Focus on yourself before you focus on others. Don't worry about hurting their feelings. They will get over it. It's all part of letting go and keepin it pushin....